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When to say "enough" and end the relationship?
The decision to leave your partner is a process. It's not easy to end a relationship, even if we know it's unhealthy. We often hope that the partner will change, notice what's going on, and start behaving differently. What are the signals that a relationship is toxic and needs to be broken up?
pic. RODNAE Productions/pexels.com
Separation can be complicated and psychologically taxing. Unfortunately, the best choice often turns out to be the one that seems the most difficult. In a relationship, as in many situations in life, you sometimes have to say "Enough!" and get out, lest you get into even more trouble. Don't resent yourself if you can't make up your mind. You just have to mature to change. You will do what you decide when you feel you are ready for it. Trust yourself, but if warning red flags have appeared, more serious changes are worth considering.
How do you recognize "Red Flags" in a relationship?
- You are ridiculed when you have a different opinion.
- You do not feel that you are important to your partner.
- You handle your partner like an egg, because he gets offended about everything.
- Sometimes you feel that this relationship is destroying you.
- In the presence of your partner, you become an inferior version of yourself, one you don't like.
- You feel only indifference or dislike towards each other.
- By your partner you think there is something wrong with you.
- Quarrels and brawls are constantly breaking out.
- In his presence you are irritated.
- You are lulled into guilt when you try to put up a boundary.
- You have guilt when dealing with yourself and your needs You feel rejected.
- You have lost your sense of security.
- You feel relieved when you imagine that this relationship will end.
- You don't want to be in this relationship any longer.
The decision to leave, even from a very bad relationship, is not an easy one. It is difficult to take it until we understand that this relationship is fatal to our motivation, creativity, commitment to life and work. It also has a huge impact on mental and physical health.
SOMETIMES THIS HAS TO HAPPEN FOR YOU TO DECIDE TO END AN UNHEALTHY RELATIONSHIP
1. You have to get tired of pretending it's OK, even though it's not.
2. You have to get tired of figuring out more ways to fix something that can't be fixed.
3. You have to get tired of convincing yourself to trust a person who cannot be trusted again.
4. You must be tired of your partner's lack of support, commitment and show of love.
5. You need to get tired of wasting energy on a relationship with no future.
6. You must tire of forgiving your partner, even though he does something you don't approve of, again and again.
7. You have to get tired of the other person not changing the po- stance or changing it only for a while.
8. You must tire of convincing yourself that there are more pros than cons in this relationship.
9. You have to get tired of being dishonest with yourself.
10. You must believe that you deserve a better life and good love.
If we do nothing, we also make a certain choice. We choose to stay in the relationship. If it is toxic, it will most likely hurt one or two parties. We then risk never again experiencing the kind of love we want.
Why do you call it love when you cry more often than you laugh?
What are the signs that you are in a toxic relationship ?
- The relationship negatively affects your mental health, self-esteem and well-being.
-The relationship has led you to depressive or anxiety disorders.
-Your boundaries are constantly being broken.
- You have experienced physical, emotional or sexual violence.
-Trust no longer exists in the relationship.
-Partner is groping you in front of other people and revealing secrets you have confided in him.
-Partner is an addict, thus hurting you.
- You cry more than you enjoy being together.
- You stopped seeing the point of the relationship.
-You are supposed to be responsible for everything.
-Everything is "your fault."
-Relationship is one-sided (in a healthy relationship, two parties give, not one gives and the other takes).
A person in a toxic relationship for a long time often becomes psychologically dependent on their partner or the role they play in the relationship. Therapeutic support is then useful to regain free will, because mental addiction is a form of addiction. It's worth recalling an important truth here: we can't change someone for themselves. We can only change ourselves.
Noticing that a relationship is toxic is the first step on the road to freedom.
Chronic stress is a natural symptom of a bad relationship. It acts as a poison that destroys physical and mental health. Shame works similarly. Shaming and inducing guilt is an instrument used by those who like to use psychological violence. This is how they want to control their partner. Each of us has made some mistakes in the past. A toxic partner will use the most painful or difficult past events against the other person.
Emotional abuse is a red flag in a relationship. Each of us has a limit to how much we can handle. Just like how much he can give of himself. If this limit is exceeded, we burn out and lose the joy of life.
WHAT IS EMOTIONAL VIOLENCE IN A RELATIONSHIP?
1. Punishing silence and emotional shutdown (quiet days, weeks, or even months).
2. Threatening to leave or suicide to force something.
3. Criticizing or shaming a partner to hurt him or her.
4. Showing contempt.
5. Insulting or overbearing.
6. Guilt-inducing.
7. Recurring demands that the other party do something against itself, which it has already refused to do more than once.
8. Defend by attacking at every dissent.
9. Manipulating your partner to make him start doubting himself
And your mental health.
10. Assigning blame to a partner even though he or she is not at fault.
11. Showing indifference or ignoring a partner when they show feelings that are important to them or talk about issues that are important to them.
12. Restricting a partner's freedom, surveillance, tracking him.
13. Making fun of a partner's weaknesses or imperfections.
If you suspect that you are experiencing emotional abuse or manipulation, talk to a trusted person, psychologist or therapist. There is no healthy relationship without trust. Behaviors that erode trust are immediately corrected in healthy relationships. In toxic they become the norm. Remember! No one is allowed to hurt you!
Based on the book by Alina Adamowicz and Justyna Moraczewska " Super Relationship.. How to create a good and lasting relationship that will not fall apart."
https://www.empik.com/superzwiazek-moraczewska-justyna-adamowicz-alina,p1290788388,ksiazka-p
Alina Adamowicz - experienced therapist, coach and mentor for women, academic lecturer. Popularizer of applied positive psychology. Author and co-author of bestselling self-help books, including: How to Silence Your Inner Critic and Believe in Yourself, Positivity, Diary of Inspiration. Founder of the Positive Women's Academy Association. Conducts individual therapy sessions and development workshops for women. On her popular instagram profile @alka_positive, she inspires women to make positive changes in love relationships, work relationships and with themselves.
Justyna Moraczewska - journalist and stylist for more than 20 years associated with media for women. Long-time head of the fashion department in the monthly magazine "Cosmopolitan" and the beauty department in "In Style" and "Gala" magazines.. She has also dealt with the image of celebrities and public figures. Author of the books Women Rockets. We of Generation X and My Strength. How to break the circle of violence and start living without fear. maintains a profile on Instagram @justpassionblog, where he writes about beauty, fashion, healthy and conscious lifestyle. She is the author of the project supporting women's path to self-development and self-acceptance #piekniejszabedzieszsilniejszy.
How do you recognize "Red Flags" in a relationship?
- You are ridiculed when you have a different opinion.
- You do not feel that you are important to your partner.
- You handle your partner like an egg, because he gets offended about everything.
- Sometimes you feel that this relationship is destroying you.
- In the presence of your partner, you become an inferior version of yourself, one you don't like.
- You feel only indifference or dislike towards each other.
- By your partner you think there is something wrong with you.
- Quarrels and brawls are constantly breaking out.
- In his presence you are irritated.
- You are lulled into guilt when you try to put up a boundary.
- You have guilt when dealing with yourself and your needs You feel rejected.
- You have lost your sense of security.
- You feel relieved when you imagine that this relationship will end.
- You don't want to be in this relationship any longer.
The decision to leave, even from a very bad relationship, is not an easy one. It is difficult to take it until we understand that this relationship is fatal to our motivation, creativity, commitment to life and work. It also has a huge impact on mental and physical health.
SOMETIMES THIS HAS TO HAPPEN FOR YOU TO DECIDE TO END AN UNHEALTHY RELATIONSHIP
1. You have to get tired of pretending it's OK, even though it's not.
2. You have to get tired of figuring out more ways to fix something that can't be fixed.
3. You have to get tired of convincing yourself to trust a person who cannot be trusted again.
4. You must be tired of your partner's lack of support, commitment and show of love.
5. You need to get tired of wasting energy on a relationship with no future.
6. You must tire of forgiving your partner, even though he does something you don't approve of, again and again.
7. You have to get tired of the other person not changing the po- stance or changing it only for a while.
8. You must tire of convincing yourself that there are more pros than cons in this relationship.
9. You have to get tired of being dishonest with yourself.
10. You must believe that you deserve a better life and good love.
If we do nothing, we also make a certain choice. We choose to stay in the relationship. If it is toxic, it will most likely hurt one or two parties. We then risk never again experiencing the kind of love we want.
Why do you call it love when you cry more often than you laugh?
What are the signs that you are in a toxic relationship ?
- The relationship negatively affects your mental health, self-esteem and well-being.
-The relationship has led you to depressive or anxiety disorders.
-Your boundaries are constantly being broken.
- You have experienced physical, emotional or sexual violence.
-Trust no longer exists in the relationship.
-Partner is groping you in front of other people and revealing secrets you have confided in him.
-Partner is an addict, thus hurting you.
- You cry more than you enjoy being together.
- You stopped seeing the point of the relationship.
-You are supposed to be responsible for everything.
-Everything is "your fault."
-Relationship is one-sided (in a healthy relationship, two parties give, not one gives and the other takes).
A person in a toxic relationship for a long time often becomes psychologically dependent on their partner or the role they play in the relationship. Therapeutic support is then useful to regain free will, because mental addiction is a form of addiction. It's worth recalling an important truth here: we can't change someone for themselves. We can only change ourselves.
Noticing that a relationship is toxic is the first step on the road to freedom.
Chronic stress is a natural symptom of a bad relationship. It acts as a poison that destroys physical and mental health. Shame works similarly. Shaming and inducing guilt is an instrument used by those who like to use psychological violence. This is how they want to control their partner. Each of us has made some mistakes in the past. A toxic partner will use the most painful or difficult past events against the other person.
Emotional abuse is a red flag in a relationship. Each of us has a limit to how much we can handle. Just like how much he can give of himself. If this limit is exceeded, we burn out and lose the joy of life.
WHAT IS EMOTIONAL VIOLENCE IN A RELATIONSHIP?
1. Punishing silence and emotional shutdown (quiet days, weeks, or even months).
2. Threatening to leave or suicide to force something.
3. Criticizing or shaming a partner to hurt him or her.
4. Showing contempt.
5. Insulting or overbearing.
6. Guilt-inducing.
7. Recurring demands that the other party do something against itself, which it has already refused to do more than once.
8. Defend by attacking at every dissent.
9. Manipulating your partner to make him start doubting himself
And your mental health.
10. Assigning blame to a partner even though he or she is not at fault.
11. Showing indifference or ignoring a partner when they show feelings that are important to them or talk about issues that are important to them.
12. Restricting a partner's freedom, surveillance, tracking him.
13. Making fun of a partner's weaknesses or imperfections.
If you suspect that you are experiencing emotional abuse or manipulation, talk to a trusted person, psychologist or therapist. There is no healthy relationship without trust. Behaviors that erode trust are immediately corrected in healthy relationships. In toxic they become the norm. Remember! No one is allowed to hurt you!
Based on the book by Alina Adamowicz and Justyna Moraczewska " Super Relationship.. How to create a good and lasting relationship that will not fall apart."
https://www.empik.com/superzwiazek-moraczewska-justyna-adamowicz-alina,p1290788388,ksiazka-p
Alina Adamowicz - experienced therapist, coach and mentor for women, academic lecturer. Popularizer of applied positive psychology. Author and co-author of bestselling self-help books, including: How to Silence Your Inner Critic and Believe in Yourself, Positivity, Diary of Inspiration. Founder of the Positive Women's Academy Association. Conducts individual therapy sessions and development workshops for women. On her popular instagram profile @alka_positive, she inspires women to make positive changes in love relationships, work relationships and with themselves.
Justyna Moraczewska - journalist and stylist for more than 20 years associated with media for women. Long-time head of the fashion department in the monthly magazine "Cosmopolitan" and the beauty department in "In Style" and "Gala" magazines.. She has also dealt with the image of celebrities and public figures. Author of the books Women Rockets. We of Generation X and My Strength. How to break the circle of violence and start living without fear. maintains a profile on Instagram @justpassionblog, where he writes about beauty, fashion, healthy and conscious lifestyle. She is the author of the project supporting women's path to self-development and self-acceptance #piekniejszabedzieszsilniejszy.
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